selfkismesis | IC CONTACT post

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IC CONTACT post

carcinoGeneticist [cg] opened memo on board IMPORTANT SHIT

THIS IS HOW YOU CONTACT ME IF IMPORTANT THINGS ARE HAPPENING.
DON'T WASTE MY TIME.
DON'T SPAM THIS SHIT.
IF YOU'RE SITTING THERE, DELIBERATING OVER WHETHER OR NOT YOU SHOULD USE THIS POST FOR WHATEVER REASON, UNCERTAIN IF YOUR REASONS ARE LEGIT ENOUGH, DON'T FUCKING POST.
IF YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT, THEN IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

THE ROBOTS ARE GOING TO GET YOU IF I DON'T FIND YOU FIRST.
DO YOU LIKE BEING MUTILATED, ERIDAN?
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE YOUR VARIOUS ORGANS REPLACED WITH TOASTERS?

Edited 2012-10-13 17:46 (UTC)

is :0 a robt
:)
that one
is that weht yore wwarnin me a bout

I
ACTUALLY HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE.
THERE'S A HIGH PROBABILITY THAT IF IT'S MALICIOUS OR UNCOMFORTABLY MYSTERIOUS, IT'S ALSO A ROBOT.
SO

I GUESS, YEAH.
SURE.
:) IS TOTALLY A ROBOT AND IS GOING TO EAT YOUR SHITTY SCARF AND SHOVE A HUSKTOP UP YOUR WASTECHUTE IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.

itll br like
a wwhile gbefore i cn extrat my self
from these shenanigns that aer happenin

WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME?
IS THAT HUMAN FUCKING WITH YOU?
JUST REMEMBER ERIDAN: EVEN IF YOU'RE FUCKING RIDICULOUS A VAST MAJORITY OF THE TIME AND MOST EVERYONE HAS HAD THE URGE TO PUNCH YOU IN THE SNOUT AT LEAST TWICE IN THEIR LIVES,
YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN SOME CREEPY HUMAN WHO IS COMPLETELY WILLING AND ABLE TO DRUG YOU UP IN ORDER TO GET INTO YOUR PANTS.

[ guess who is misreading the situation. hint: it is karkat. ]

kar

thats the swewetest thin youvve evver said

NO IT'S NOT.

yes
yes it fuckin is its alike all sortsa fuckin sapppy na shit
an like its whwhat people keep like
fuckin sayin an shit
like wwoww

hes not bein gross aoranythin tho
hes like
swweet an shit its obnxoixious

OH MY GOD THIS IS EMBARRASSING.
THAT'S IT-- I'LL NEVER SAY ANYTHING VAGUELY SUPPORTIVE EVER AGAIN.
I'M DONE.
ERIDAN, FEEL FREE TO DISRESPECT YOURSELF TO WHATEVER EXTENT YOU FEEL NECESSARY.
MY WORDS WILL NOT BE THERE TO CUSHION YOUR FALL INTO DEPRAVITY.
LET THE HUMAN CONTINUE TO WOO YOU IN INCREASINGLY DECEPTIVE WAYS.
LET HIM WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS INTO YOUR AUDITORY ORGANS WHILE GENTLY CARESSING YOUR BULGE WITH A RAZOR.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A WONDERFUL IDEA.

no too late your afficially suportivve
a me
an hes not doin anhythin like that hes ujst
telllin me im ok or somthin
like
nice an hsiet

[ look how long karkat can keep up the "never supportive ever again" thing ]

ARE YOU OK WITH HIM?
LIKE, THIS ISN'T UNCOMFORTABLE FOR YOU OR AWKWARD?
EVEN IF HE'S TELLING YOU THAT SHIT, IT'S STILL TOTALLY FINE TO SAY NO.

no
ids ok
i mean like
im mostoely playin up hwo bad h e is to5 be drramatic
hes ok

OK.
JUST MAKING SURE.

...IS THIS A ROMANCE THING?

io dont think so
im mostly ovver tht shit anywway evevn if he s like no dont givv eup
wwell esxuse me mr human im sorry if m yromantic ovverturs lead to ruin evver ytime
fuckin opti mistic sas shit ovvert here

WHAT?
NO.
THERE IS ALWAYS THE OPPORTUNITY FOR ROMANTIC OVERTURES, YOU JUST HAVE TO STOP BEING A GINORMOUS DOUCHEBAG AND ALSO MAYBE MEET THE RIGHT PEOPLE.
I MEAN, JUST KEEP IN MIND, THERE ARE A *LOT* OF PEOPLE HERE.
MORE THAN THE 12 OF US BACK IN THE VEIL.
WHICH SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASES YOUR CHANCES AUTOMATICALLY. [ as karkat also reveals where on the timeline he is. ]
ROMANCE IS A FINICKY BITCH.
IF YOU DON'T FOCUS ON THAT SHIT, IT'LL HAPPEN.
IF YOU DO FOCUS ON THAT SHIT, YOU'LL FUCK IT UP BEYOND REPAIR.

Edited 2012-10-15 00:59 (UTC)

like six a ues on the viel
but ok
like
i kecant just not focus aon thatsort astuff lets be fuckin reel here kar
i dont jsut not focush on shit
im li ke fuckin the focsuin king
prince a neruocis
also havfl a the people here odnt even knoww quadrants
an i dont wwant hu man romance thanks that shits wwack

THIS MIGHT SOUND ABSOLUTELY INSANE, AND IT ACTUALLY TOOK ME LOSING A BET TO VRISKA TO REALIZE IT
BUT HUMANS CAN DO QUADRANTS
THE EMOTIONAL CAPACITY IS THERE.
IT'S JUST HIDDEN UNDER LARGE SUMS OF BULLSHIT AND STUPIDITY.
HUMANS ARE LIVE CAVES, AND YOU HAVE TO GET ALL UP IN THERE AND MINE FOR ROMANCE.
GET A GODDAMN PICKAXE AND GO TO TOWN.

NOT LITERALLY.

i knoww they can mean i guess i do
its nt impossible tofr them to get it asmFUCK
for them to GET IT SOMEHOWN guh fuckin communicator
btu explain in it
EXPLAININ IT KAR
its so hard
i only know wone person who whgot it
an hes dead now w that asshole

DO I NEED TO UNLEASH SOME SERIOUS SCHOOLFEEDING ON THIS SHIP?
BECAUSE I TOTALLY WILL.

no ckar
if you do that
theyre gonan think wwere fuckin crazy
likea s a fuckin race
just straight up fuckin crazy
TALKKNIN ABOUT ROMANCE AT A TIME LIKE THIS
wwere on a MURD--ERS)(IP kar
emphassi fefs
wwe cant talk about romance!!!

ROMANCE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MURDER.

howw

I
DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW.
THAT WAS A REALLY FUCKING DUMB THING FOR ME TO SAY.
HOLY SHIT, WOW, LET'S JUST AGREE TO IGNORE PAST KARKAT.

i alwways ignore past karkat
you usualy tel lus too anywway

buth i guess like
maybe
it makes sesn like ok wwerer all gonna get murdered anywway
so at leas twwe can try bein fuckin
like
happye an shit before it happens

LOOK, DESPITE MY COPIOUS EXPECTATIONS FOR MURDER, YOU CAN'T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT.
WE'RE NOT GOING TO GET MURDERED, AND I'LL MAKE GODDAMN SURE OF THAT.
SEE, THERE'S THE DIFFERENCE.
BEFORE, WHEN I WASN'T HERE, THERE WAS NO ONE TO KEEP THE MURDER AT BAY.
NOW I'M HERE, SO FUCK THAT SHIT.
MURDERERS ARE GONNA GET THEIR SHIT HANDED TO THEM.
I WILL FUCKING MAKE *TIME* FOR ROMANCE.

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